A Meeting Of Minds Area 51. ( Short Story)

  • "Fart" the Grey had a headache, he was also very angry and distressed. Tonight he had his first meeting at a hall in Area 51 with the humans of Majestic 7. His colleagues had all been given magnificent code names, Lightening, Thunder, Storm and what had he got - 'Fart'. Worse even than his ridiculous code name was the fact that somehow he had forgotten his beloved's birthday, and now they would not be having their traditional meal dining in the stars.

    He was a miserable Grey in a world of hurt. All day his colleagues had been teasing him with their cool code names and his ridiculous one. They also took no mercy in berating his lack of memory. 'Fart's' in trouble they said, there is a major turd coming down the pan with his name on it. He forgot his beloved's birthday. Smells like he's in trouble.

    Toilet humour, that's what the majestic humans of Majestic 7 would have called it. Totally unbecoming in a Grey. Now he had worried himself so much, he was becoming late. He would have to do the unthinkable, overcome his fear and teleport into the hallway. He would rather walk through a Stargate. His beloved worked for the teleport division and spent many an hour telling him that his fears were groundless and he worried for nothing. Teleportation was the safest means of transport.

    He took a deep breath, touched his wrist control and said the words- one to beam to Hall 7 please. Back came the reply, 'ok, Fart clear to go'. There was a bright flash of light then darkness. Next a splash, then a smell. Oh the Gods where was he. Thor help me, Odin he cried. Suddenly a light as bright as the sun appeared in front of him and he blinked as squinted his eyes, he became accustomed to his surroundings.

    He had landed right in the crap of a human toilet pan and the stench was vile. 'What' he said, there in front of him was a pretty Grey female holding a video camera, his beloved. Never mind Fart she said flushed with success, you'll not forget my birthday next year, not with this video to prove it. Still you know what they say darling, 'smile, shit happens'.

  • Grays Vs Space Marines:

  • @JTam Love the Genesteeler coming through the vent. Yours?

  • @Geoff Maybury 

    No.  Just one of those classic pieces floating around the internet.  

    Do you guys (UK)  do the toilet tank overhead with the pull chain?  I've always thought of that as Eastern European.  

  • @JTam Yes I`d say a lot of homes still use these but the new flush just over the basin arrived about mid 1990`s  still alot of middle class and posher go old stlyle. Me if it works don`t fix it , I want an old brand new jeep 60`s era no computers all metal no plastics ruged last for life . On our way home in a storm yesterday I remised about my 1942 MB had manual wind screen wipers, a handle on the right hand side passenger and slightly smaller on the drivers once started swinging they worked like those steel relax balls , bloody worked fine , take a real storm to slow them down. K.I.S.S Keep It Simple Stupid. !942 and still going strong today look at all that military, could we say the same about todays. Will they still work and be around in Xyears time, some are a mechanic/electrician/computer expert nightmare now. Finally lookat all the planes that can`t get a "Airworthy" ticket due to electric computer spares, Avro Vulcan etc. God bless the "Spit" Hurrican" and "Lancaster" long may they fly over these shores.

  • @Geoff Maybury 

    I had no idea the windshield wipers on a jeep worked like that.  Great detail.

    It's true most military equipment is a nightmare to maintain now.  The only good thing about the Afghanistan withdrawal fiasco/tragedy is that minus the cutting edge systems the Taliban sold/gave to the Russians/Chinese/Iranians most of the bigger items will be broke in a year.

    Ran into a beautiful Jeep this last Veterans Day:




Please login to reply this topic!